Voices from the heart - for my brother

The blog asingaporeanson is, as most readers feel, inspiring. No doubt about it as I’ve been following it like a keen fan since day 1. My ratings: 10% Envy, 30% Surprise, 60% Sad+Heartpain+Unwilling (I can’t find the best word for the feeling). Every time I click on the link to his blog, I wished he has it updated and it wouldn’t be bad news. Today I read about his First Day of Work with mixed feelings, again. As always, I will remind myself about Why am I here post and that calms me a great deal. No matter how much unwillingness, I don’t have the right to hold him back, not mom not me.

If I may use the help of an analogy to describe what I feel about his move; we may have been the fire torch for some years of his life, just as fuel (mom) and headlights (me) do for Barry White (my bro) but ultimately it’s the GPS that is the most crucial. I’m not even sure if BW has a GPS fitted but my point is the final goal and the direction he’s heading should be determined and set by him. The road maybe bumpy and not an easy one for BW, along the way he may even suffer dents or scratches but as long as there’s fuel (my unborn niece) and a well maintained engine (a happy Jen), I’m sure every day will be a happy drive for BW. Yes, I talk of BW as a man, definitely qualified and a good one too.

So….my bro has found a job and is still going thru the initial and toughest phase of getting the hang of it. Sounds like he has not waivered or lost his determination; wastrel he’s not, I think that’s too strong a word. We don’t get to choose where and when we’re born or how we’re brought up. If he’s a mommy’s boy, he will not make such a choice, making his hands and body ache like that. I read with fear the potential accidents that he may have to battle in his new found job. I don’t know whether one can grow to like such work, but I think one can sure work towards getting used to it. The mind is a powerful tool. Am glad that mom is not IT savvy for once, so she can skip such updates of what her son is going thru. As for me, I take it as my bro going thru another round of NS (tougher but this is for his dreams) and there will be a day where he’ll ORD. Just take it as a life experience, after all how many Bangladeshi workers can afford to drive home after a hard day at work, in a named favorite car? BW reminds me of Bumblebee in Transformers, a true buddy to his owner.

Don’t belittle yourself bro, because it takes lots of courage to move away from comfort zone and start from scratch. I hope readers will be envious of you, for having a supportive family that is truly yours no matter where you are. ..my simple words, 2nd sis.